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Business has not been wonderful in terms of rose selling so far this year. The weather opening weekend wasn't wonderful, and even though Saturday was pretty nice, the weathermen had been predicting THUNDERSTORMS AND DOOM for most of the week, so no one showed up. Sunday was verrah nice, in terms of weather, but the people seemed to forget their wallets at home. Even though I haven't been hitting my personal goal I've still been top seller, so I guess there's that. We have a really nice crew this year; I like all of the people I work with. It's pretty awesome.

This past weekend was one of the strangest I've experienced in quite some time. Saturday, I was petting the macaw (whose name is pronounced like "Gonzo," but with an "ah" at the end,) outside of the animal exhibit. She hopped up on my arm, and I thought, "Hooray! She likes me!" She started giving me soft little parrot kissies, and I thought, "Hooray! I have a new friend!" Then she chomped down on my bottom lip. Hard.

Evidently, parrots do such things to one another in order to show affection. I, however, do not have a beak. I have delicate soft fleshy bits.

Fortunately, my new buddy did not break my skin. I was really hoping that my lip would get all nice and swollen so I could tell people that I had been in a fist fight, and they should see the other guy! Alas, that did not happen. I'm still waiting to see if I get radioactive parrot powers. So far, nothing. I'm going to be *really* annoyed if I went through all that pain for nought.

Sunday, although it was busier, was MUCH slower in terms of sales. It was completely bizarre. I have never had to work that hard for so few sales with that many people there.

At one point, I was standing at the Moon Dancer back carts chatting with some folks, when a rather large individual dressed as Death approached. He was wearing a big red cowl, a skull mask which concealed his entire head inclusive of his eyes, and his nails were painted black. I did my little "fairy defies Death" act, and ran off to try and move some of my stock.

He followed me. Slowly but surely, he followed me until I ran into Knightly Endeavors. The KEGs and I watched him slowly amble past, and I ran off in the other direction.

I didn't think anything of the encounter, figuring it was probably some random patron who was a little bit *too* into playing a character, until later when I heard from Colin that Death had handed him a little note with a time written on it. At this point I decided that Death was probably some kind of creeper, and that security should be given a heads up.

Colin and I went off to find a security guard. He was about ready to beat the everloving snot out of someone. Eventually, we ran into Big Tom on the other side of the faire. We gave him the scoop about Creepy!Death, and he said he'd keep an eye out for him.

Later on, I was in Greenfield Common when I saw Nick over at Matty Groves. I figured I ought to give him a heads up about Creepy!Death as well, so I headed in that direction. As I was walking, I saw Bud Stud Eric making a bee line for him. We arrived at the same time, and as I was telling Nick the story, Eric pointed and said, "Yeah, he's right over there." Nick said he'd keep an eye on him, and I headed over to Lunde's.

Death followed me. Nick followed a ways behind him, but I didn't know that at the time. Eric followed Death. As I arrived at Lunde's a patron purchased a rose from me. During the entire transaction Death loomed over us. The patron kept giving him the side-eye, and called him creepy. Once the patron's money was safely tucked away I ran into Lunde's. Colin came out looking like he was ready to beat someone into the ground. (For the record, he probably could.) I was getting ready to tell Geoff that I was going to run and get security because a fight was fixing to break out when Nick arrived.

I saw Colin being ver stern with Death. I saw Nick being very stern. Then...laughter? WTF? Colin came back into the booth.

"It's OLAF!"

"Excuse me," I said, as I ran out of the booth to kick him in the shin and call him an asshole.

I went back into the booth to retrieve my basket, and Olaf followed me. He lifted his mask, and said, "I was following you because I wanted to buy a rose!" I berated him a bit more for scaring the shit out of me, sold him a rose, and had a good laugh about the whole thing.

Many people were concerned about the situation with Death, so I ran off to allieviate people's fears. As I was relating the story to a group of folks at the Blue Boar, I noticed a certain individual staring at me.

Most of you reading this will know that as Bubbles the Rose Fairy I do not speak, particularly not to drunken patrons. This particular drunken patron shows up about once a year, babbles at me about how pretty I am, how he loves me, how he's a lawyer, how I shoud be with him, etc. I tolerate him, and others like him, because it's generally not worth the trouble to get them to cut it out. I remind them that I'm taken, relieve them of some of those ever-so-heavy dollar bills, and then promptly forget about them. No big deal.

Later on in the day, I saw a family with three small children dressed as Link, Zelda, and a chicken. I immediately decided that the ENTIRE faire needed to learn of their existance, so I ran off towards the Blue Boar to spread the news.

Upon my arrival, I was accosted by the aforementioned drunken patron. By this time, he was WAY past merely drunk, and well into completely smashed. I don't speak drunk fluently, but from what I could tell, he was REALLY angry that he had seen me talking to other people when he's been coming to the faire and seeing me for seven years and I've never spoken to him. Nogga was walking by with Jax just as I was pounced upon by this idiot, so I grabbed him in case I needed an adult. The drunkard was going on and on; I wasn't going to talk to him, but when he started spouting off about how I need a "real man," I'd had enough.

I told him that I've been with my boyfriend a lot longer than he's "known" me, and he is a real man, and I didn't want to listed to any more of his nonsense, so I was going to go do my job. Of course, THAT exchange took about five minutes, because the jackass just would. Not. Shut. Up. Once I got away from him, I boogied on up the hill to the table where Damien and some others were sitting.

I expressed my need for an adult, and we all watched the drunked idiot stumble away with his friends. Kelly Rose informed us that he had just been cut off. Damien decided to run around to all of the pubs and make sure they knew not to serve this particular individual any more booze. I hugged Nogga for being my adult, and went about my business.

Not half an hour later I was approached by Nick, who asked me what happened at the Blue Boar. I told him the story, and he said he'd keep an eye out for the guy. I rounded the corner by Moresca, and lo and behold the nitwit was there with his two friends, harassing ANOTHER girl.

I waved down two other security guards, who had a bit of a chat with the fellow. They asked me if I wanted him thrown out, and I expressed my distinct desire that he not be allowed to imbibe any more alcohol. They told him he could stay as long as he didn't bother anyone any more, especially me.

He didn't so much as look in my direction for the rest of the day, but all of the craziness completely threw off my mojo. I feel like with the crowd we had, I should have had much better sales. I also completely forgot that I was supposed to be alerting everyone to the presence of Luke, Zelda, and the chicken until after they had gone.

Going out to dinner with good friends made me feel loads better. Getting free scones from the Chocolate Cafe on the way out of faire was also a bonus, even though Trouble Kitten 5000, aka Puck, found them in my basket at some point during the night and made quite the mess in our dining room.
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October 2014

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